24.2.09

fat chris tuesday

yup
fat chris tuesday.
Its wierd that its so crazy on the gulf coast
or is it, to be honest the only time i was in new orleans it was the summer and i was shitfaced regardless of religious obesrvances.
I didnt find love but i bought a wierd looking girl with a broken leg a drink with my fake id. she was from new orleans and was far from impressed.
My brother however was very impressed with some rave that was going on, and while he pumped and gyrated away in honor of his then girlfriend, soon to be fiancee and later on ex wife.
I wandered the streets of new orleans looking for mission. i was taught missioning by like i dunno kids
ian daniel, ian again, different kids.
I got ahold of a line
some bum was selling crack
not just any bum a bum with class
looked like red fox
but in camo and barf
the camo hid the barf i think
either way?
he was a character and he attracted my suburban, life experiencing ass.
no more to say bout that.
I followed him
I loved him.
He looked at me and yelled "TRY BEFORE YOU BUY< TRY BEFORE YOU BUY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!"
I looked back and said "try what?"
"CRQACK COCAIN MOTHERFUCKER< CRACK COCAINE!!!!"

well
I was flabbergasted
crack?
really?
awsome.
I but i was wise
I spent so many years wandering the streets of la

I knew a lot
no spring chicken you could say, but dumb as fuck nonetheless
Anyways
I was skeptical was the point and i wanted to see the crack
I had no intention of smoking it
never would
but i was curious
I said "bullshit you can try before you buy
that dosnt make sense"
he pulled something out of his pocket, held his palm open close to his hip and yelled in my ear ":LOOOK DOWN MOTHERFUCKER LOOK DOWN!!!!!"
I Looked down
I saw some crumbled paper? iunno
some dirt?
I was like Whats that?
"CRACK COCAIN MOTHERFUCKER!!!! CRACK COCAINE!!!!!!!!"
and i was definitly skeptical at this point
crack looked like shit
like a yellow piece of old soap or something
it maybe had a pube sticking out of it?
it was fucked looking
"TRY BEFORE YOU BUY< TRY BEFORE YOU BUY!!!!"
he yelled
more to people that might be passing around than to me
he actually seemed to hate me
he had stopped his sales pitch at least once to give me a dissaproving once over. This turned out to be one of a few time i was actually blessed with achieving a state of stupidity that even a homeless crackhead couldnt put up with and was therefore lower than him on the totem pole of the streets.
anyways
i was not having this yellow shit caked handful of junk as crack story
and i let him know


"how am i supposed to try before i buy? "
i said, slightly worried about what trying meant
Gimme a cigarette he said. and i gave him one, he tore off the filter, jammed the rock into the end twisted it up and smoked it.


i guess trying meant he tried it? and i bought it?
i dont really know
all i know is he got waaay shittier after that.

he went from tolerating me around, scaring off his customers, to getting pissd. weary crack heads were just sitting on the sidelines waiting for me to buy and get the fuck out, before they cam and tried and buyed i guess.
so now he was all
"EXCUSE ME!"
and i was like "what?"
and he was like "EXCUSEEEEEE MEEE!"
and he walked into a alley
i followed
he was giving me pissed off looks


I didnt care



we got deeper into the alley


he had friends
he turned again and said "EXCUUUSEEE MEEEE!"
and hi s friends advances on me
I got the fuck out




i never tried and i never buyed
it sucked
all i did was throw up on a fat german tourists wife, causing him to violently shove me into a wall.


i didnt eve get to rave like my brother. who by the way was nowhere to be found.
Back at the rave
there he was
dancing and shit
I stayed in there for a few minutes and left
got a drink again
even though i kept barfing.
stumbled out onto some main street and down to the docks
the docks to a lake or the ocean or whatever
i am not sure
to this day i cant figure out that city
there is water everwhyere>

it was flooded a long time ago, i think they just build on the floods and use voodoo to keep the land up i dont really know.
skin a cat and grow some shrooms in a bottle of rum and its all good.
in any case i woke up sleeping on a dock with a boat honking its horn at me
not a boat
a ferry
i was blocking some sort of gangway.
a gangway is i think something you walk on to get on a boat.


later on i found my brother, still at the rave, and we walked to our car in the early morning light, found a motel by some freeway that had a dead guy in the lawn and maybe went back, maybe this story ids both days. o really cant remember. but we saw some voodoo shit in a graveyard that freaked me out, I found some hip gone in a crushed mosoleum, and a scary courage badge. i think all thats gone now but i havent been back. that city was really dirty back then. but thats what was great. sort of.